We all have our stories to tell. Modern technology even helps you to relay your story across the crowd. Some stories are dramatic and awe-inspiring. Others are striking and dream-filled, while some are miserable and bitter. But do you know the most painful stories of all time? It is the UNTOLD story.
These are the stories of ‘what ifs’ and ‘if I should have done’. These are the stories playing in your mind today. The same stories that will daunt you tomorrow if you will not act out today.
Tony Robbins once quoted, “We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish for”.
Exactly! But how will you do that? – Change your STORY to change your LIFE.
Your thoughts represent the bulk of your tomorrow. How you view the world around you strongly affects your future story. It can lead you to what you wish for, or it can lead you beyond what you wanted.
Whatever thoughts you put in your head is what your heart believes.
A college classmate blocked me years ago on Facebook. I was working overseas, and she was in our home country. We were chatting on Facebook’s Messenger while I was cooking and doing the laundry, multitasking. You know life overseas is much harder than life back home. So I left my phone without logging out (so whatever notes she sent me, it appears to her that, I read it while in fact, I didn’t), did all my chores, and slept without replying to her.
The next thing I knew was, she already blocked me. Her last note was actually asking me a little favor, which I didn’t even read before I slept that night. A few years later, words came down to me that the reason she blocked me was that I didn’t even attempt to respond whether I decline her favor or what, like seen-zoned.
So, all those years, she thought that I intentionally didn’t answer her back. That thought made her believe one thing which did not surely happen.
What happens if she changes her story? So, what happens if her story was to understand me? Or what happens if her story was to wait for my response?
Alternatively, what if I changed my story? What if I tried to reach out to her and asked why?
Undoubtedly, both our stories would have changed. Perhaps, we would have been getting in touch up to now developing a deeper friendship.
Top 5 Reasons Why You are NOT ABLE to Change Your Story
Similarly, the example above does not only happen to relationships. Most of the time, it happens to yourself ALONE.
Creating a passionate story leads to multiple opportunities. The stories that you tell yourself is your whole individuality. What you should do and shouldn’t do is dependent on the stories you tell yourself. Your future leans on the stories you make today.
Growing up, you are accustomed to the below stories, which are difficult to shake off your minds. But what if I tell you now that you can do something about it?
1. There is no motivation to change.
Think about what your goal is. Is the path you are paving leading you to your internal goal or somebody else’s goal? It might be your parents’ wish, your boss, your friend, or even society.
If you are obliged to go down the road you haven’t choose, then it is difficult if not impossible, to change your story.
2. You’re putting limits on your capabilities.
Most of the time, you have no idea of what’s your worth. You put limits on yourself and decide that you aren’t good enough at something. You fear failure just by thinking about it. Therefore, you quit without even starting it.
The world isn’t perfect, and nothing is perfect. If perfection is your standard, you aren’t growing, and you aren’t learning.
3. Focusing on someone else’s life.
Everybody’s guilty, including me. Too often, you compare yourself to the success of a friend or a colleague. And even if you remind yourself that everyone is fighting their own battle and at their own pace, you still get stuck watching your peers moving forward.
How you handle your battles establishes your steps towards changing your story.
4. You always associate age not to change your story.
How old is too old? Some grandmothers went back to school and finally received their dream diplomas. Again, whatever thoughts you implant in your mind, the heart believes. We are already in the modern world – it’s 2020!
Age limitations are society’s conventional wisdom. Don’t let it refrain from changing your story.
5. Giving up after two or three failures.
When you were learning to walk, I’m sure you fell off thousands of times before you totally walked straight. Considering that society is still keeping a keen eye on everyone else, failure now has become more and more terrifying.
I may be writing all about self-growth and personal development subjects, but I’m pretty sure the learnings that you develop from those failures are much more valuable than my posts. So it’s okay, you can fail. Learn from your mistakes.
5 Ways on How to Change Your Story
The most vital step in an effort to change your story is to IDENTIFY it.
If you think you’ll never find love again, that you are not sociable, that you will never earn your dream wage, that you don’t have the power to succeed, well, it’s time to change your story. Tell yourself what you always wanted to do. Nurture your thoughts to what you want to be.
1. Take thousands of risks.
Not every formula applies to everyone. Hence, the uncertainties of every risk are distressing. It requires absolute courage.
No matter the outcome, you grow, and you learn through the process. You build more confidence, you become more optimistic, you develop skills, and you boost your chances of winning your goals.
2. Re-write if possible.
When you drafted your story, you make sure to focus on making it a success. What if the battle changed when you reached chapter two? Re-writing your narrative is a process of finding meaning in your life circumstances, appreciating the learnings, and accepting the growth.
There is no limit in re-writing your story. Keep on re-writing until you reach your goal because no one else will. The only time other people write your story is your obituary.
3. Focus on your future.
Never let your past control your future. Sure we all have painful pasts, even childhood wounds that torment us to this very day. If you focus on the bruises of the past, it can be a tough transition to the future.
Instead, start focusing on the things that you want to discover, your end goal – may it be learning a new skill or socializing. Once you start focusing on your future, your wounded past slowly fades, and finally, your new story grows.
4. Create a daily habit.
The most challenging and substantial part of storytelling is how you mold the chapters to change your life. Create a daily habit, buy a notebook, picture & identify the possible challenges you may face, then write a guideline on how you will conquer adversities.
Few years down the road, when you look back on the notebook that you wrote today, you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come along the way. It might not be as accurate as what you’ve written, but the guidelines help you achieve what you want to be.
5. Always be conscious of the stories you communicate to yourself.
Whatever stories you tell yourself contributes to the very next action you make. Even the simplest and silliest stories make a difference in how you change your story.
You may have a presentation tomorrow, and as early as now you are creating a story of – ‘This needs to be perfect, else, they’ll think I’m unknowing of my stuff’. Or ‘They’ll never choose me for that opportunity. Negative self-talk is normal. However, changing or twisting these stories make a big difference in your future.
Final Thoughts on How to Change Your Story
You can never plan your life. However, you can figure out and change your story as you go with the flow of life. If you believe that you are better off of the moment than changing your path, the frames of your life will never expand.
Your ‘Once upon a time,…’ doesn’t happen overnight.
Don’t let your stories be JUST stories – make it a REALITY!
Your Take Away to Change Your Story
What are the stories you tell yourself? How does it affect your future?
How do your stories make you feel?
Can you throw your stories that don’t define what you want to be?
Are your past stories holding you back? Did you try re-writing it?
What new stories can you make to change your path now and will lead you to the person you want to be?
Did you change your story to change your life? I’d appreciate it if you share in the comment box below the struggles you went through to change your story.
**Photo Credits: Pixabay**