Do you know how much a friendship cost?
Are you the type of person who values the cost of friendship?
Is your friendship costly?
A few thousand dollars?
How long do that thousand dollars of friendship last? Three months? Years, or is it for a lifetime?
The truth is, quite a lot of times, we do not even know how to differentiate a friendship.
How many kinds of friends do you have?
We view friendship in different ways. And in reality, for some people, friendship is viewed according to their purpose.
· Some friends are viewed as a company.
These are the people whom you just met, chat for a while, your personalities instantly clicked, and boom – you’ve got a friend.
These are the people you can run to for just chitchat in general.
· A few friends are viewed as a utility. Ouch!
I can see your eyebrows moving.
Well, yes! Accept it. In this diverse culture that we live in, some people make friends according to their usefulness. Those that stick with you whenever they gain something out of you, mainly material possessions.
Although it’s a selfish kind of friendship, many are still trapped in this kind of relationship.
· There are also those friendships based on pleasure or comfort.
I don’t want to brand this type of friendship as selfish because both parties are equally getting satisfaction.
These are your drinking buddy, sports buddy, gym buddy, name it. It’s for specific reasons which you both mutually compensate.
· And the last type of friendship (well, I don’t know if you have more to add to the list) which is the main point of this article is the ones established in virtue, those which foundation is fully developed.
I hear you right!
It’s a selfless relationship, a constructive relationship.
Though it’s a rare type of friendship, I hope you find one, ‘cause I’ve found mine.
And honestly, the more intense the friendship is, the more costly it becomes. It is a product that we rarely acknowledge to pay for. So, how much does a friendship cost?
I met my friend during my grade school days, which was twenty-three years ago. We barely talk due to life’s responsibilities and distance in the past few years, but if we do, it feels like we’re going back in time when we used to hang out. It feels like nothing has changed.
With the bond that we have, I would like to give you a breakdown of the costs that friendship has billed me over the years:
1. Friendship Cost Investment of Passion
A true friend genuinely takes interest in your life’s what, when, where, who, and how. While it is highly typical to have a friend who shares your passion, a few also encourage you in carving your passion even if their area of expertise is way too far from yours.
Chemistry is what it takes to build a friendship that establishes your passion. Don’t expect me to tell you that friendship “chemistry” is that moment when your personality clicked over the first few weeks or months of meeting together.
It might be genuine for a couple of friends out there but the connection might be shallow.
Chemistry doesn’t define the similarities both of you have.
My friend and I belong to a different religion, family upbringing, political views, and life stage. Yet, our friendship lasted this long. Hence, chemistry is far more than just a click of personalities.
It is more sensible to say that chemistry is bonded with understanding and trust over the years.
When they understand you, your views, what you’re living for, your dreams, they give the support you well deserved. Their energy and presence boost the shining passion in you.
They invest a portion of their life to you. They are your number one fan that pushes you and squeezes out the best in you. The trust they extend to you help you flap your wings.
2. They are a Mirror of our Discipline
Don’t you want a friend who points out your improvement? Well, I do, that’s how you grow.
Friends do not abandon you. They wholeheartedly teach you when you’re leading a path which you are not supposed to walk on. Some relationships might fall into pieces because of this, but, understanding them and their purpose is another way of building a strong foundation of your friendship.
Providing you a constructive criticism is another way of showing their love. They are concerned about your needs and well-being. It is not easy to discipline someone especially a close friend. This may also mean a waiver of the relationship. However, this shows that a friend is being responsible for you. They don’t want you to fall apart.
They invest their time and energy in you. So it is just right for them to direct you on what is beneficial to you, even if it is not beneficial to them. That’s tough love.
3. Friendship Cost Love on a Different Level
In my twenty-three years of relationship with my friend, I’ve experienced all kinds of love that I should actually feel to several people and on different levels of situations. Love is far deeper than admiring and appreciating the good sides of a person.
It is understanding and accepting the person for whoever they are. It is tolerating their actions and decisions and still willing to teach them and be a part of their lives.
And best of all, you do not only experience filial love but get to experience all kinds of love while being with them. The emotional investment is long-lasting. You fight and forgive. Still, you don’t hang it in each other’s head. You fell apart and yet you try to grab the pieces back.
You both help each other survive anything. You celebrate together, you weep together. It’s something you can’t do with your family or even your partner. The beat of your heart is the same as theirs.
4. Friendship Cost You Quality Time
Time is a personal investment in someone’s life. They say it doesn’t matter if your friendship is built through time. What matters most is the purity, acceptance, respect, and loyalty you have for each other to be called true friends.
Although some of us treat friendship that way, I believe that time is amongst the costliest slice of the relationship. Time is an assessment of how strong the relationship is. The longer it nurtures, the deeper the connection is. A worthy friendship takes work and effort through time.
Over time, we tend to change personalities. We shift our group of friends. Our responsibilities in life drift us apart. Having a friend who willingly travels with you all these times is tough. It is a commitment and a partnership.
These types of friends witnessed everything about you through those times. There are no barred walls. They even know you better than you know yourself. The feelings towards each other are authentic.
Plus, what’s more, amazing is even in the busiest part of our being, it doesn’t pain us to connect with our true friends from time to time.
5. You Obtain Life Values
There are life values that you gain from family and the people surrounding you but only a true friend lets you realize them, embrace them, and execute them. You make these values meaningful because of them. They step out of their comfort zones, they don’t entertain fear. They push your buttons and push you to the limit.
And though they have their perceptions in life, they act and speak in accordance with your belief. They let you recognize and appreciate the little things in life. They forgive you and let you choose peace and happiness, they show you laughter.
Friends lets you understand that relationships are important. They become your second family.
You learn together, you grow together.
6. Friends Contribute to Mental Health
While a few are coping with stress alone, a lot of people resort to hospitals, doctors, and therapists whenever they are experiencing mental distress like anxiety and depression. Most of the time, we ignore the therapeutic impact and effectiveness of having a friend by our side.
Even Harvard researchers revealed that having a genuine relationship improves brain health (and that includes friendship). In fact, by expressing your troubles to a friend helps you lessen the burdens within.
They prevent you from loneliness, they increase your sense of belongingness and purpose.
Believe it or not, good friends develop your overall health.
So, have you checked how much your friendship cost you?
In general, to receive the most expensive gift of friendship, our only obligation is to accept. Acknowledge that you have differences in life’s perspective. You open each other’s doors.
A costly friend not only sees the sunshine and rainbows but also withstand the storms with you.
Time and distance challenge you. What’s worth it is you grow separately yet you never grow apart.
People invest in money. But if you have invested in a solid friendship, it outweighs the biggest investment money can afford. Friendship is costly, yet it is a cost that we completely deserve.
Over to you
If you have received the charges drafted herein, cheers to that investment of friendship you have nurtured.
If not, share the bills you are submitting or gaining on your working relationship in the comment section below.
I would be glad to read your thoughts if you have similar or additional reflections and experiences to add as to how much your friendship costs you.