Figuring out who are you meant to be in your life doesn’t pop up in less than a minute as opposed to the suggestions of others. To figure out is a process of judgment, evaluation, analysis, and brainstorming with your own until it burns you and start crying.
The idea of figuring out who are you meant to be is one of the crucial decisions that you make today, which impacts your tomorrow. It is like peeking through the lens of a camera where you manually control and determine the amount of light passing through your clicks.
With the right shutter, you can capture a great photo that’s even eligible for an international photo contest. Similarly, you want that kind of factor in your life – that ‘factor’ to help you determine who are you meant to be in your life.
To have a glimpse of that ‘factor’, here are a few ways to get you started.
Figuring out who are you meant to be in your life
1. Follow back the Breadcrumbs
If you’re like me who passed the age of thirty and still wandering and wondering who are you meant to be in your life, let’s try to follow back the breadcrumbs.
It means to look back on your previous years and find clues.
- What did you do consistently that excites you?
Did you love making presentations?
Did you love wearing bling and styles?
Were you the go-to-advisor of your schoolmates when they had deep personal problems?
Did you enjoy speaking to different people and talk about life?
Did you love writing letters or cards to your friends and classmates?
- What did you do to help your friends or colleagues without taking any cash?
Did you volunteer to provide photography outputs for your friend’s wedding or anniversary day?
Or did you draw or paint something to give as a gift instead of buying?
Perhaps, you drafted a colleague’s resume?
- What did you do to help your company even if it is not a part of your job description?
Did you facilitate a company party creating the programs and games?
Did you create presentations without being asked just so the team understands your report?
There are thousands of questions to ponder on. Make a list of what interests you versus what you want to do. While it’s true that what matters most in finding who are you meant to be is your present and future, it is equally important that you know what you WANTED and connect it to what you WANT right now.
2. Listen to Others
Now that you have listed all what you wanted, and what you want, try to listen to others. Listen to your friends when they say you’re good at cooking.
When your boss mentions – you’re great at presentations, acknowledge it, and think about what else you can do to improve.
Listen to your colleagues when they always appreciate how you dress, much more when they anticipate your outfit the next day.
Notice when people are consistently amazed when it’s easier for you to simplify a complex text.
When people recognize something in you, they find it valuable and useful. These may be things that you take for granted or you don’t even know that you acquire because you are focusing on a different aspect of your life.
3. Put it into ACTION, thousands of actions and experiments
I’m a fan of self-help books and articles. Plus, I also bought not too many eBooks on personal development topics. On top of that, I downloaded hundreds of self-growth eBooks.
Ninety percent of it will tell you “It’s okay, you’ll figure it out naturally – ONE DAY”.
Or – “It will all fall into the right places”.
Some will say – “Where you are right now is where you are bound to be”.
Although I’m a sucker of these niches, they missed one critical step in surviving – to keep trying and trying and trying. They say if you failed several times, it might not be your calling. Try a different path.
With all due respect to the writers and counselors, I disagree. It may be true to someone else, but not to everyone.
I love writing and started blogging 11 years ago, which lasted for nearly two years. Then I started my writing gig 2 years after. It lasted only 3 months. Why? Despite my love for writing, I didn’t have a passion for learning. I only waited for opportunities to pass by.
Four years later, I created another blog. Yet again, it lasted for only 3-5 months. Why? I didn’t have the motivation to move forward. There were no reasons to continue.
Finally, 2 months ago, I launched this blog. Furthermore, I started my writing gig earlier this month which thankfully, supports me during this time of crisis where I lost my job.
The point here is, don’t stop falling. Though I’m not at the peak of this dream YET, I’m on my way. It took me over a decade to realize and understand pointers 1, 2, 3, and the following points.
Convert those failures to lessons. Try and fail. Try and fail.
4. Create an Intersection
Once you’ve found your passion, intersect it with your potential.
What are your gifts, what are your talents? Where are you good at?
Sometimes, you may find your passion, but you are not good at it. For example, I have a passion for music; however, music doesn’t like me.
For some people, they focus on improving their vocal cords. That is okay. I knew a few who have worse tones than mine, but after spending time with their vocal coaches, their voices are honestly impressive.
At this point, we are linking points 1 to 3 plus monetizing. How will you monetize your potential and passion so that you can support your family or help other people?
If you cannot create a junction, you may want to reassess your potentials and passion. So, your passion, potential, and how you monetize both should intersect with each other. Check my example of the Venn diagram below:
5. Detach age in discovering who are you meant to be
If you see my resume, you will learn that I hop from one post to another. I took my years to discover a job that I can fit in, one that I can work on my purpose, or one that I don’t have to drag myself out of bed every morning.
The answer is you can’t. Because no matter how long you will be in an institution, there are more moments of giving up, more moments of backing off, and more moments of trying to leave – but life circumstances won’t let you.
Don’t give up. Age is irrelevant when finding who are you meant to be. I’m nearly in my mid-thirties now that I’m slowly opening my sense of purpose. I knew it even two decades ago, but I didn’t take action. I didn’t pursue what I wanted, I stopped, and I was afraid to take risks.
How old is too old to find your purpose?
Charles Darwin published his book “On the Origin of the Species” when he was 50 years old.
Vera Wang found her fashion niche at age 40, after years of being a journalist and figure skater.
Ariana Huffington launched her news publication, The Huffington Post (which I’m dying to guest post for the last three weeks – 🙁 ), at age 55.
You can also find your calling at any age. You just have to discover it, work on it, and sacrifice.
Final Thoughts on who are you meant to be in your life
Discovering who are you meant to be is a significant stage in your life. Hence, don’t rush your decisions. Learning things you want to do, and understanding things you want to pursue is overwhelming.
Don’t be trapped in what they call Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. It is an episode during the decision-making in which you will be aware of something, get excited, then your brain only focuses on selective attention. Therefore, making your decision ‘attention bias’, it is not well-thought-of.
Additionally, try things. It’s better to try it now even if you end up hating it than regret not even attempting at all.
Lastly, listen to the child in your heart no matter how and where your adult head leads you. Finding who are you meant to be is a sacrifice. You have to work for it and fight for it.
Your decisions and actions after you found who are you meant to be are what’s matters MOST.
Over to You
It took me over a decade to discover who am I meant to be. More than ten years to recognize the broken things which I should have fixed earlier. Yet, it gives me lessons that I’m pleased to share with you.
If you’ve not yet found who are you meant to be in your life, try these pointers and share how you are managing.
If you’ve already uncovered who are you meant to be, mind if you share your lessons on the comment box below?